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Become The Person Who Gets What They Want

Certain quotes really hit home and act as affirmations, giving you strength when you need it most. I’d like to share one with you–one that has probably been the most transformative quote of all for me.

I first heard it in regards to dating, yet it has colored the way I look at every aspect of my life. The quote is this: “It’s okay to want what you want. But DESERVE what you want.”

My mind has played with that idea over and over again. Since it was originally meant in terms of dating, think about what that means when looking for a partner.

Think about the type of person who you’d like to be with (if you’re single, of course. If not, just follow me on this). Create a mental checklist of the qualities they would have. I would guess it might include somebody who is mature, responsible, and takes care of themselves.


Now think about that particular person. If he or she were sitting at home making a checklist of the qualities that they were looking for what would they be? Would you fit that description? Would a fit, healthy girl deserve someone who smokes, someone who’s overweight, someone who plays video games instead of going after their passions? Or would he have to just count on her settling? And is that what he’d really want?

I think about this in terms of my martial arts business. I may not know everything about running a business, or be the best at it, but I do know one thing–the type of person who deserves to run a successful martial arts school isn’t someone out of shape, isn’t someone who spends only a couple of hours a week on their business, isn’t someone who’s stopped doing their own training and learning.


Both in dating and in business we can’t always plan exactly when we’ll reach our goals. You can’t set a goal to meet the right girl in 6 months. But you CAN plan on being the type of guy who deserves the right girl in 6 months.

Setting goals around BECOMING rather than just HAVING can be very empowering, giving you 100% control over your success.

Besides, isn’t that really what you want, anyway? You’ve heard it a million times before–it’s about the journey, not the destination. What’s the difference between the person who works hard for his success and the person who inherits it?

The person who works hard for it has a strength, a confidence, a patience, a perseverance that the other guy lacks because it was forged in the process of becoming successful.

Putting your focus on deserving instead of just having, on being instead of just doing, is the key to true fulfillment and inner contentment. Use your goals of accomplishment and achievement as the impetus for self growth.

If you agree with what I’m saying but you may not be living in such a way that you deserve the success that you want then I suggest you begin today by asking yourself what it would take to be that person.

And if you fall off track at times, remember this quote I got from a Gold’s Gym commercial I heard years back–“You haven’t given up. You’re just resting between sets.” Now it’s time to stop resting and get back to work! 🙂



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